Arizona Date Night

We've done this twice before. Chet and I mix a cocktail, grab the black light and a cigar and head out to the back yard. The lights are off and all you can see is the orange glow of the cigar as it seems to float between the oddly illuminated teeth of your fellow mighty hunter.

-OK fine, I'm being a little dramatic. There's a street light on the other side of the brick fence, but still--it's dark.-

Anyway, you need a black light because scorpions glow under its bulb. We've got fluorescent-type one that needs to be plugged in. There are a couple of extension cords involved, but it's a pretty powerful little sucker.

 You'll be scanning it across the rock garden and see leaf after leaf light up and then BAM there's a bright, glowing scorp.

So, last night, after the veni (which was AMAZING, by the way, if I do say so my self) we had another couple over.

They've never been scorp hunting and, after a couple glasses of wine, wanted to see if we could find anything.

Out we went with our light, warning them that last time we did this, we didn't see anything.

Well, the storm we had the other night must have kicked up quite a bit because we didn't see one or two scorps, we saw NINE. They look like toys when illuminated under the black light. Creepy, freaky toys. 

Our weapons of choice were a piece of wood, a plastic hockey stick and a nine iron. 

Everyone got a kill--even yours truly! At the very end of the evening, with the encouragement of my fellow hunters and the courage provided by that third glass of wine, I used the end of the nine iron and squished the nasty critter.

I was glad about a few things--We didn't see any in the garage (and we looked in there. With the lights off and the door closed in the 130 degree heat) and we also didn't see any by the garbage cans or pool pump. I comforted myself with the reasoning that if they were here actually living and thriving, those are places they would be spotted.

We did have one on the side of the house by the door that was pretty tough to take but my fearless hubby took care of that bad boy.

I've also realized a few things about living down here, amid the crAZy critters:

1. I'm pretty sure everybody's got scorps outside their house. You just need to get out there with a black light and some booze to find them.

2. We've been here for about a year and nine months and never once has someone said they know someone or know OF someone who has died from a scorp sting. Or a black widow, for that matter. Most of the time, someone knows someone who was stung when they stepped on one or had one on a towel (ewwwe!) or there's the rare person in the group who's been stung and lived to tell about it.

I'm still really scared of them. Last night, you can imagine how well I slept. But I'm also fascinated. These little pests have supposedly been here on this earth since prehistoric times. They can survive for up to 6 months without food and water, for three days IN water and, as the little critters my neighbor caught in her kitchen and I mailed up to northern MN proved, they can live in a Tupperware container that has not been opened for weeks.

They are quite amazing.

That being said, if I find one in my house, I'm moving.